Sin
by me-obviously
Summary: Because virtue is overrated. a.k.a. The story in which me, obviously makes everyone look like complete nutcases. And I mean everyone. A series of oneshot parody character studies.
1. Tell Someone Who Cares

AN: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to my new fic, "Sin." A collection of oneshots that explore the inner workings of our favorite Avatar characters' dark sides.

ATTENTION: This story will contain some major spoilers and will have sporadic updates, you have been warned.

This first one is a little diddy on dear Mai, our new weapons specialist villainess. After seeing "Return To Omashu" I just had to write this on Mai, she fascinates me.

**Disclaimer**: None of this is mine. Not Avatar: The Last Airbender (not Mai :cries:) and definitely not the Bravery or anything associated with the aforementioned things I don't own.

* * *

**S L O T H**

1. Habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness.

"_It's like a swollen summer  
What if I'm just getting dumber?  
What if I'm just in denial?  
What if they come and cop my style?"_

_-Swollen Summer, _The Bravery

She hadn't been joking when she'd said nothing of consequence happened in the conquered Omashu - ahem, pardon me, the City of New Ozai. Between the attacks made on her and her family's lives by the Resistance and the strange deadly epidemic that had recently struck the city, her life was horribly dull. Really, what reason had Mai to live?

So, naturally, she was delighted when her two best friends (Well, can two people who are nice enough but wouldn't hesitate to stab you in the back be described as friends?) visited. _Finally, a bit of excitement._ And Mai was ecstatic - fine, inwardly happy when Princess Azula requested her assistance in her mission. _Forget what the mission is specifically, there are sure to be more opportunities to use my throwing knives while traveling with Azula and Ty Lee!_

And she couldn't remember ever being so happy before Azula declared that she, _she _was to handle the trade off for her little brother... with Azula's consultation of course.

It was in a quiet type of euphoria that Mai, daughter of the noble governor of the City of New Ozai, mounted the construction platform on which her brother's (and Earth King Bumi's) fate would be decided. Azula and Ty Lee flanked her; Mai was slightly surprised by Azula's choice to follow her like a mere guard rather than lead their small procession - alright, her and Ty Lee.

The young weapons specialist stared emotionlessly across the platform at the representatives of the Resistance, two teenaged Water Tribers and a young boy of uncertain affiliation.

Mai doubted that any of them were very proficient in battle, though the girl carried a waterskin (_A Waterbender_) and the boy was packing a small arsenal of weaponry (_A warrior, a novice one at best_).

_How... disappointing, _she sighed inwardly.

She waited till the insane king's ("Hi, everybody!") metal container touched down behind her before addressing the Resistance members.

"You brought my brother?"

"He's here. We're ready to trade," replied the younger boy in a slightly hoarse voice.

_Odd,_ thought Mai, _I expected the warrior to do the talking, he is the oldest after all._

Before Mai could set up the parameters of the exchange Azula spoke up. "I'm sorry, but a thought just occurred to me. Do you mind?" she asked earnestly, tilting her head towards Mai.

_Yes, because I know you, Azula. I know whatever you're going to say will hurt someone here, possibly even myself, but... I don't really care._

"Of course not, Princess Azula," she responded graciously.

Azula did not thank her, she didn't need to, she was royalty and would've gotten to speak whether Mai willed it or no. The Princess knew this as did Mai, and Azula knew she knew.

"We're trading a two year old for a king." The Firebender prodigy looked up at the exposed face of the aforesaid king, "A powerful Earthbending king?"

Bumi nodded helpfully, "Mm hmm."

Azula refocused her attention on Mai. "It just doesn't seem like a fair trade does it?"

Mai froze. _What're you suggesting, Azula? We all know how you feel about your brother, are you asking for me to feel the same way for mine?_

She turned to face the three Resisters, her murky yellow eyes seeking her brother. There he was, held securely in the Water warrior's arms. Tom-Tom's pudgy face was turned away from her as he stared over the boy's blue clad shoulder. She could barely discern his joyous gurgling.

Mai recalled watching him play and even joining him in his inscrutable games on warm, sunny days. Then observing her mother settling his small body in his crib on cool, humid nights. Her mother, what would she think of her if she did what Azula was asking? What would her **father** think of her if she sacrificed his only son for the good of the Fire Nation?

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied her brother from a distance. Tom-Tom was cute for an infant true, but he was an infant nonetheless. A mere drooling two year old. Two years he had been with them, surely Mai's parents hadn't grown too attached to him. It had only been a couple of years, her parents were young still, they could have another son.

"You're right," unwanted sorrow made itself known inside her chest, she brushed it away nonchalantly. She stalked forward, signaling for the king's prison box to be raised by holding up a strangely manicured hand. "The deal's off!"

The king cackled crazily as the crane raised his crate, "See you all later!"

The kids stared up at the rapidly rising metallic box in mortification. Their fear of losing such a powerful asset to their side reflected in their wide eyes.

"Bumi!" cried the brightly dressed boy as he bolted forward. Azula dashed away to meet his charge, sending out a blast of brilliant blue fire. Mai was just as amazed as Azula when the child leapt up, soaring over the crackling flames. His orange cap fell off as he opened up a glider in mid leap, exposing a blue arrow tattoo that had become infamous amongst Fire Nation citizens.

"The Avatar!" gasped the Princess. Azula smirked as she watched the boy fly up in wide circles in pursuit of the king. "My lucky day..." The Firebender ran into the shadow of the catwalks surrounding the massive statue of the Fire Lord.

Mai watched as the two Water Tribe teenagers made to retreat, smothering a wince as an opportune strike by Ty Lee sent the warrior sprawling. He just barely spared Tom-Tom from being crushed by twisting around so he landed on his back.

Mai fired some arrows at the enemy, soon followed by a few daggers, trying to ignore the glaring fact that her baby brother was amongst the targets. She decides she needs to work on the whole not caring thing as she and Ty Lee combat the Waterbender.

* * *

AN: I hope you liked it. Review please! 


	2. I like your ears, they're really big

AN: "La Vie Bohemie" from RENT is semi stuck in my head. Ergh...

ATTENTION: This story contains some major spoilers and updates are sporadic.

This one's a surprise. ;)

**Disclaimer**: If I owned it it would be on Adult Swim. And we'd get episodes centered around one or more of the characters doing things like getting drunk and bending while inebriated... Yeah, I'm glad I don't own it either. I apologize for my bad humor. Oh... and I don't own Jem, I doubt anyone does.

* * *

**L U S T**

2. Sexual desire or appetite.

"_Come on closer  
I wanna show you  
What I'd like to do  
You sit back now  
Just relax now  
I'll take care of you"_

_-Come On Closer_, Jem

Big ears. It wasn't a description that brought flattering images to her mind. The first thing she thought of was an elephant, in fact. And then... by the spirits - what if there was hair protruding from his ears?

She felt like crying.

Her handsome prince had been replaced by a hairy old cad with freakishly large ears.

One day the anxiety became too much and Meng had practically burst into one of Aunt Wu's palm reading sessions, tears streaking down her face. And with a voice far higher in pitch than what should be possible, had desperately begged that she not be destined to wed an ugly, hairy, old man. Wu had been sympathetic, the elderly gentleman she was predicting a future of prosperous hair growth for had not been.

The fortuneteller had gently led her young assistant to sit on a cushion, casually dismissing the affronted geezer. A warm pot of ginseng tea was prepared and Meng, sufficiently calmed but hiccuping, had confessed her fears to her kindly mentor. Wu had laughed - not unkindly - and had shown Meng to the window. There she proceeded to point out several villagers with large ears, all of them nowhere near hideous. And so Meng's fears were put to rest and her dashing prince (his ears slightly larger than before) had returned to haunt her daydreams.

And then _he _had arrived. He was handsome. He was funny. He was an Airbender, of all things! And - most importantly - he had large ears (well, his Water Tribe friend did too but Meng was sure _he _was the one for her).

"So what's your name?" she had inquired in as seductive a tone as she could manage.

"Aang," he responded quietly. Meng couldn't help but take a small thrill at the sound of his voice, a thrill that was as much physical as emotional. It was light, cheerful and put her in mind of the playful breezes that caressed her face like a loving hand during the balmy summer months. Meng couldn't help but wonder how it would feel when he caressed her for real.

There was another reason for her excitement, however.

"That rhymes with Meng!" She could hear the introductions now. _'Hello, I'm Meng and this is my husband, Aang.' _And then his voice: _'Hi, I'm Aang and this my beautiful wife, Meng.'_

So great was her excitement that she couldn't help but hint at the cause of her interest. "And you've got some _pretty_ big ears, don't you?" The subtle stress of "pretty" was intentional, he was gorgeous in Meng's opinion.

Aang's tone was not one that suggested intrigue when he replied. "I... guess..." he sounded somewhat confused.

Meng marked that off as a small technicality that could be corrected later, choosing instead to simply be lulled by his wonderful voice. She vowed then that when they were married she would make it a point to listen to him speak during much of the day, the rest of aforesaid days would be spent doing... other things.

Oh, yes... other things. The things she could show him if he gave her the chance (and he _would_). Aunt Wu had made sure to explain the facts of life to her when she deemed her assistant ready for such... details. Many a night Meng had clutched an open pillow book and learned how to keep her mysterious prince content and under _her _control. She had even found that pleasure could be given to a man by the ear... the larger the ear the better.

Secretly watching Aunt Wu give Aang his fortune from behind a wooden screen, Meng learned a great many things about this handsome stranger that she had come to love.

He was destined to fight in a battle that would determine the fate of the war and he wasn't even surprised by it. Not only was he great to look at, he was an accomplished hero; what other kind of person would not be shocked to hear that?

And then rather than being boisterous about his own importance he had asked the most humble of questions: "... did it say anything about a girl?" Meng started. He wanted love, he wanted romance, he wanted _her. _And Meng was plenty happy to offer herself to him, all of herself.

She would be his and he would be hers. She would make certain of it.

* * *

AN: Yeah, I went there. -prepares to be shot- 


	3. Only dangerous when they blow bubbles

AN: Those of you who know me should've seen this coming. Yeah.

**Disclaimer**: Isn't and won't ever be (unless I somehow manage a hostile takeover of Nickelodeon within the next few years). And the music from "Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex" O.S.T. is not mine either.

* * *

**W R A T H**

1. Strong, stern, or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation; ire

"_O mother dear  
I curse you so  
For breathing life into your wretched son  
Why were you born at all?  
O mother dear  
I love you so  
O please forgive this anger in my soul  
Without you I'm alone"_

_-Beauty Is Within Us_, Yoko Kanno

_I really do need psychological help of some sort_, he mentally chuckled. _This isn't healthy in the least. My cholesterol hasn't been well off for sometime and I imagine this little anger problem isn't helping._

Little was an understatement. Nothing about him was little. Not his anger and most definitely not his gut or his height. It was amazing that he managed to be a bender of this caliber in his current physical condition; King Bumi was probably the only bender of his nation who was in worse shape than him. Alright, maybe that was an exaggeration. But he did need to lose weight.

And he needed therapy. It didn't need to be professional, just someone he could talk to in confidence.

Amongst his peers The Blind Bandit was probably the only one who could help him. Her blindness would make her less put off by his size and her unmatched talent in the ring would insure that he wouldn't intimidate her. Plus, she was a girl - his little experience with females and what he had heard about them lead him to believe that she wouldn't mock or be cruel to him. But to his chagrin she only appeared seconds before a fight and always disappeared afterwards. And no one was interested in deep conversation during a match.

He inwardly sighed dejectedly. _How can I talk to her if she's never around to listen?_

His fists clenched absently as he fell into his designated role of the big dufus. _It's doubtful that anyone will ever see me as anything more, _the thought made him angry.

And The Boulder, ever the opportunity seeker, chose to insult him at that moment. "...You may be big, but you're not bad..." he stage-growled.

The rest of the oration was drowned out by a pounding in his sensitive ears. His mind was in turmoil, rage curled and twisted in his gut like a restless parasite. "HIPPO MAD!" he roared, all his sorrow and discontent expressed in that heartfelt and irate statement.

The Boulder took the emotional declaration as a challenge and happily complied. Using his earthbending he hurled a massive clump of tightly packed earth at his opponent.

It hit The Big Bad Hippo head on, aggravating his emotional upset. Hurt and unhappy, he shook the dirt off his wide shoulders like a dog shedding water from its coat and broke a large clod apart in his mouth for show.

It was an unhappy and wrathful Big Bad Hippo that shook the ring that night. And after his loss and another of The Blind Bandit's mysterious disappearances, only reading up on scroll about his favorite animal - the hippopotamus (_hippopotamus amphibius_) - soothed him that night.

* * *

AN: Who is The Big Bad Hippo, who is he really? A misunderstood and intelligent man of compassionate heart or is he exactly what he is depicted as, an oaf? The world may never know. 


End file.
